Q: I have been ‘chatting’ to a guy online now for a few weeks and he wants to meet up in real life. I would really like to meet up too as he seems really nice but I am a bit uneasy about meeting someone new for the first time. Could you please give me some practical advice on arranging our first ‘date’? Thanks.

A: Meeting someone new for the first time can be very daunting in any situation, especially in today’s world when the papers seem to be full of crime and other horror stories. You are right to feel anxious as people can be whoever they want to be when they are ‘online’ and all may not be as it seems, for these reasons while you are chatting online never give out your telephone number, last name or address until you know who you are chatting to. When YOU feel ready to meet this man the please stick to the following safety tips, which are applicable for any first date, and will hopefully make you feel a bit less nervous and a bit more secure;

1. Always tell someone where you are going and who you are going to meet.

2. Always meet in a public place, like a bar or restaurant.

3. Ideally take a friend (or two). They can always sit at the next table but will still be close at hand if needed. If this guy really cares about you he will not mind you bringing someone else along if it means he gets to meet you.

4. Never invite anyone to your own home or go to their home until you are very sure you can trust them.

5. If you do have to go alone arrange for a friend to pick you up at a pre-arranged time. If this is not possible get a friend to phone you at a pre-arranged time to check all is well.

6. Take a mobile phone with you. If you haven’t got your own borrow one. Make sure it is fully charged and you have plenty of credit and also make sure you have an “emergency fund” of money with you just in case.

I’m sorry if these tips seem a bit over the top, but you can never be too careful. Good luck with the relationship, and let me know how it goes!

When a website is 100% free, you may find that all people joining the site are genuine or are after a long term, meaningful relationship. 

Websites that are free to join, and then charge to contact other members is a good indication that people who are already members are  serious about meeting someone. In this case, you can be assured that if someone contacts you, they are genuinely looking for a partner. 

Website where you pay to join upfront are usually frequented by professionals or sometimes specialist agencies - such are Russian brides or Thai brides.

Police are trying to trace a man wanted for defrauding women from Bristol who he met on free dating websites [bbc news].

Officers said David Brice targets mature women who he befriends before persuading them to part with money, cars, laptops or mobile phones.

He has used the name Wayman in the past and has met women on sites including plentyoffish.com and smooch.com

Read more >

Online dating is big business – and it’s set to get even bigger. Many people have busy lifestyles and sitting down, relaxing with a beer or a glass of wine in front of the computer is a lot more appealing than having to pluck up the courage to talk to someone at the bar or in a club. I’ve written a few tips that I feel may help those looking to get started in online dating.


Creating a secure password

When you first join a dating site and set up your profile, make sure you use a secure password. It is advisable to use both numbers and letters and consider splitting up multiple words. Identity theft is on the rise and the Internet can be full of scammers trying to hijack accounts to find everything they can about you.


100% Free Dating Sites

Whilst 100% free dating sites sound too good to be true, you don’t know who you could be contacting.  I used to run a free dating site and the amount of scammers and spammers who joined was unbelievable. Many of them try to be-friend you and then make out they need money for some serious cause. Surprisingly, many people fall for the scams and end up losing money. If you pay to use a dating site, at least the person you are contacting has a higher chance of being serious about finding a new partner.


Ask for a Recent Photo

There’s nothing worse than meeting up with someone who looks nothing like they do in their photo. I met a girl who had put on what seemed like 2 stone and had aged about 5 years since sending me her photo. It can be a waste of everyone’s time so make sure you know who you’re meeting.

Decent People

Although many people follow their common sense and are aware of the dangers of meeting, do remember that many people are honest and good hearted. Meeting new people can be fun and exciting. You could meet your perfect partner online so good luck!

The recent cold UK weather has caused a surge in the number of people joining online dating sites. With millions of people unable to get into work because of the bad weather, people have been exploring ways to find a new partner – via the Internet.  There’s only so much daytime TV you can watch when stuck inside so it seems people are turning their attention to finding new partners online.

www.mysinglefriend.com say that the number of visitors to their website has increased by 55% on one day alone and their busiest time of day during the week was 3pm rather than the usual 10pm.

Sarah Beeny, founder of Mysinglefriend.com said "The increase in traffic over the past two days has been very unusual, as typically they are quiet days for us - we are usually busiest at weekends.

"We can only put this down to the bad weather meaning more people are staying at home. We saw a similar picture when we had snow last year, but obviously the weather is a lot worse at present so the increase has been much more marked."

 

Other popular website singles365.com reported visitor numbers grew by 27% over the last few days than the same time last year.

 

Singles365.com’s spokewoman Katie Mowe says "January is our busiest month anyway, as many single people make it their new year's resolution to find a partner,"

 

Recent reports indicate that the dating industry is booming and this big increase in numbers helps enforce the statistics.

According to a study by market research company Forrester Research, the number of Britons paying to use online dating agencies is set to grow from 2.6 million people in 2006 to six million by 2012.

According to a recent study, the initial number of replies a person gets on dating sites makes them seem very popular. 

The kind of attention a new member gets is "a lot more than if they had walked into a bar”, said Matthew Bambling of the Queensland University of Technology, who led the study, 

“It gives a feeling of being powerful. The online environment doesn't have the conventions and context of a real life meeting and so online interactions can have a bigger impact on a person,” Bambling said. 

He said this lack of inhibition that online interactions allow means some people are carried away by their feelings and “don't use their heads as they would in normal social situations when meeting people”. 

Bambling said he has seen people in counselling regarding the consequences of making emotional investments in people they had been emailing after meeting them on-line. 

“They often become quickly emotionally involved and invest in the other person before meeting. After meeting they move too fast because an emotional relationship actually started when they began interacting online before meeting, in which time they build up a fantasy view of the other person,” he said. 

“When they do meet, often the other person is not always what they had imagined but if they are already emotionally invested they go out anyway. They can end up wasting a lot of time trying to make it work.” 

Bambling said to avoid pitfalls in online dating, people should arrange to meet up after the first few e-mails. This can help to avoid getting emotionally connected too soon or building up a fantasy about the other person. 

“The main thing to remember is to make real-life contact as soon as possible if you are interested in someone because it is here that you will know if a relationship is a possibility.”

Make your Profile Stand Out

There may be hundreds of other profiles that you will be competing with so you need to make sure yours stands out. It is a good idea to search for other profiles of your own sex to maybe get an idea of the competition and also to get inspiration. Using humour in your profile can work well as women love men who can make them laugh.

Honesty

Be honest about yourself else you may just attract the wrong sort of people and waste everyone’s time. Be truthful about your situation – even if you are married and have kids.

Don't Appear Desperate

Don’t appear like you are really desperate for a date and have no standards. This can be measured by how broad your ideal partner’s criteria you put down. If you don’t care what height, weight,  religion, ethnicity background etc is, it may appear that you’re just looking for sex. If it IS sex however that you’re looking for, make sure you join a adult dating agency such as http://adult.friendfinder.com or something similar.

Write About Yourself 

Make sure you write enough information about yourself. What are you like as a person? What are your favourite films and books? What are your hobbies and interests? Make sure you make yourself sound interesting.

Who Are You Looking For?

Write about the sort of partner you're looking for in terms of appearance, outlook, religious beliefs etc. Basically write about the things that are important to you.  I, for one wouldn’t like to go out with a smoker for example.

Be Positive

Be positive in your profile. Quite often people will write, 'No weirdos or messed-up people'. People who are weirdos wouldn’t see themselves as one and it would show that you are cynical and see people in a negative light. Be non-judgemental and be receptive to bringing new people into your life.

Choose a Good Dating Profile User Name

Your user name can play a vital role. It can be the difference between people clicking on your profile or moving on to the next one.  Try to avoid using your full name – perhaps choosing one containing your first name with some numbers after it would be suitable. You could even try something that shows you are romantic or have a sense of humour if this is something you possess and want to project. Obvious sexual user names are best avoided unless you're signing up with an adult dating site as this can sometimes offend.

Internet Dating Profile Photos

Your photo is probably the single most important aspect of your profile. Photos are known to massively increase profile views and messages received more than anything else. Make sure you use a recent photo too as again, you need to portray the real you.

If the real you IS different from the picture, your date may be disappointed and, again, you could have wasted each other’s time.  Make sure it is in good lighting and you are in a great background. Let your picture portray someone who's positive and receptive. Look happy and smile!

I would advise against webcam pictures are they can turn out awful. Group shots are also a no-no as sometimes it shows you weren't serious enough to get a picture taken. Some dating sites have to approve photos before use so make sure it’s a close-up, head shot and not sketch or photo of your dog. Finally, bear in mind that your photo is going up on the Internet and could potentially be seen by everyone.

Frequently Login

Most  Internet dating websites sort listings by last logged in date so make sure you log in often so your profile is seen at the top of search results. That way, you will become more likely to attract more profile views.

The famous dating web site strictly for beautiful people has announced more than 5,000 members were removed during the Christmas holidays for putting on extra weight.

Greg Hodge, managing director of BeautifulPeople.com, said the company began removing members following complaints that they had packed on pounds shown in pictures over the Christmas and New Year period.

"We responded to complaints by moving the newly chubby members back to the rating stage. This is the same as having them re-apply," Hodge said.

Applicants can only join the website based on votes from existing members. They have to be deemed "beautiful" enough to become a member.

"Their re-applications were reviewed by existing members and only a few hundred were voted back in. Over 5,000 were rejected," he said.

Apparently, the "fatties" included 1,520 people from USA, 832 from the UK and 533 Canadians.

"As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld," said Robert Hintze, founder of the Web site. "Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded."